A relationship is vibrant when two people have found a way to relate to each other where each feels accepted, valued, and loved be the other. These 7 tips give guidelines for thinking about relationships and actions to take to create vibrant relationships.
1. You are both of equal value
Start with the premise that both of you are of equal worth. This keeps you from getting caught up in the struggle as to who has power over the other. Appreciating each other as being equally valuable will bring strength and vibrancy to your relationship.
2. Take responsibility for yourself
You alone are responsible for yourself. It is very freeing to realize that one does not have to be a victim to the past and the "ought" and "should" messages. Instead we can choose how we can lead our lives. The more each person in a relationship takes good care of self the more each can give to the relationship.
3. Let go of blame, criticism, and judging
Blame, criticism, and judging get you right back into the arena of who is right and who is wrong. Instead, say what you are feeling and thinking by using the pronoun I. This is far more powerful and will let your partner know how you were affected by what was just said or done.
4. Go for win-win
In most situations you want to come to an understanding where both people feel OK about the solution reached. There will be times when something matters so much to one person that the win-win comes from giving support to that person. If there is a winner and a loser, both people lose.
5. Take 20 minutes each day to connect with each other
Since most people lead busy lives it becomes very important to set specific time aside to connect with each other. Allow each other to what ever you feel; however, take responsibility to share your feelings and thinking in a way that you truly get heard.
6. Have fun together
Laugh together, find things that you enjoy doing together, delight in the things around you. Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
7. Love each other unconditionally
Accept each other with love. You may each have behaviors and habits that you may want to change because it will enhance you as a person and be good for the relationship. If you feel accepted by your partner you will want what is best for each other and add vibrancy to the relationship.