Very few people are bold or honest enough to acknowledge the fact that they're bored, and even fewer are courageous enough to do something about it. Instead, they find all sorts of reasons for the problems (while they studiously avoid the obvious) and seek solace elsewhere. This desire for new challenges is then satisfied externally while they blame themselves or their partners for their growing unhappiness, workaholism or infidelity, and surreptitiously live a lie. The trouble with lies, those handy fig leaves to the vulnerability of relationships, is that they can only be maintained by even more lies which inevitably, and painfully, become exposed.

The increasing competition in the workplace has brought its own pressures too. The bid for job parity and opportunity in a technological world has caused a re-definition of women's roles, one which has devalued the homemaker in the process. But modern woman no longer needs male protection. The burgeoning market of part-time work, home work, short-term contracts and consultancy positions are proving ideal for women, but a threat to men, who feel increasingly devalued in an uncertain market as their skills become obsolete. The financial and physical freedom women now enjoy has created higher expectations and aspirations leading to greater self-development and individual rights. Being a single woman no longer spells lonely spinsterhood or life in an isolated nunnery. It is more likely to mean wider choice and autonomy, greater eligibility and a much more affluent, independent lifestyle.

Developing Coping Skills
Both men and women now strive for far more flexibility in their life and less commitment in this ideal single state, one which is supposed to minimise potential hurt - and some of the most miserable people boast the most about avoiding future hurt. But they also avoid a life, without realising their loss. To get to any kind of hurt, one would have experienced the pleasure. Many people miss out on the essence and enjoyment of life in their bid to avoid the pain which is a necessary part of human development. Every kind of hurt teaches us how to deal with the next one we encounter, gradually developing our coping and interactive skills. Thus, the people who avoid hurt the most are the ones least likely to address the causes of that pain because it is always easier to blame someone else than to look to themselves. They might not get hurt by remaining steadfastly single and ‘in control', but they won't have much fulfilment either. By not taking any risks with other people they are likely to remain unappealing, frigid fossils in the rut of perfection while their emotional lives atrophy and wither.

Satisfying our emotional needs is therefore as essential as sating the physical and intellectual ones. A well-rounded, personal development is not possible without all three elements being addressed. Human beings are social animals with an intrinsic need for others. Having no love and affection may be fine for a while but, like any machine that needs maintenance, if such a situation continues indefinitely, it is likely to make you unhappy, and unhappiness ages you fast, makes you vulnerable to illnesses and shortens your life - but such digression is for another time.